This week was really hard for me. Even though I'm trying my hardest, I still feel like I'm not successful.
Well, before I really get into anything, did I tell you guys that on my way here I saw two dead dogs, with one that had all of it's guts hanging out? Great stuff here in TJ.
Okay, so this week has been one of the hardest I've had so far.
But I'm not gonna be one to cejarme, so I'll just get to the good stuff.
1.) This first picture is of a testimony of C, the little girl that we baptized. I dunno if you guys can read it, but it's pretty awesome. I felt so happy that she wrote it for us.
2.) This is a picture of a car that has a hole in the window that was made fairly recently. In fact, I'd say someone broke into it the day before.
Oh, and the story about Grandpa leaving his van overnight and finding the battery, radio and spare tire stolen is true.
Yeah. I can actually see that happening. (By the way, the gas station is spelled OXXO, not OXO.) If you leave ANY car in ANY place that isn't secure, they'll just take whatever they want from it. It's Mexico, not like anyone really cares. Heck, that's the same reason why as missionaries we aren't allowed to take out our money or electronics unless we KNOW it's completely safe, or we're inside a house. So yeah, I can see that. I dunno if it was the manager or not. It depends on the size of the OXXO. Some have cameras facing the parking lot, so if it was just a po-dunk barely functioning OXXO that probably had like 5 products total, yeah, I'd bet the manager. If it was a relatively bigger OXXO, I'd say it was some friend of the managers.
Hmmm.... What else happened this week?
We found a ton of new investigators through street contacting, but unfortunately only 1 of them has actually been at their home. That's the most depressing part about this. We can contact people all day and fill our agenda for the next year if we wanted to, but we'd probably find about 2 or 3 people that are home and REALLY want to listen to us instead of just say it so the annoying kids in ties will go away.
I'd say that is the hardest part about my mission. The failure.
I have failed in so much stuff the past few months it's unreal. My ward council isn't doing anything, which is my fault. I haven't been pushing them enough.
I haven't had a single Baptism since Brother A. Again, my fault. I haven't been working hard enough.
I haven't found a single new investigator that got baptized since Sister M. Again, my fault. I'm just not doing enough to get them to church.
I could go on for days.
Do you guys ever have those periods where you just feel like everything you do doesn't matter?
I hit a point like that this week. I literally did all possible. I planched hardcore. I literally told the Ward Council that they don't care about the eternal salvation and welfare of souls. I told Brother I. and Sister M. (two people we've been teaching) that the ONLY way to show to the Lord that his blessings are important to them is by doing what we leave. My companion and I sat down and had one of the strongest, most spiritual, most incredible lesson I've ever taught. I KNOW I was speaking by the Spirit. Nothing changed. Not a single thing in the whole world changed. They didn't come to church. Even though they PROMISED with EVERY SINGLE FIBER OF THEIR BEING that they would, they didn't.
Success shouldn't be determined by things like that, but I look around and see other Elders in my District that are basically in the font all day that I can't even begin to describe how sad I am.
Sorry this is so depressing. I really am, but I just can't help it. This whole week has just been super tough, and I've had to relearn a lot. Heck, I was about ready to head home again.
Thanks for all your support. I really appreciate it. Although it doesn't seem like it, I really do appreciate everything you guys do for me.
Have a good week, and I'll see you all next Monday.
Elder Carter
